Brandy's Postcard Stories (postcardbrandy) wrote,
Brandy's Postcard Stories

Grasshopper Pie

When Candy was a budding tomboy at the age of six, grasshopper pie consisted of real grasshoppers (and ants and earthworms and butterflies, lightning bugs, bumble bees) with their legs pinched off and guts and “tobacco juice” spilling out from crushed encasements. Candy liked to ambush boys of all sizes, kick them in the nuts, and stuff insect mush into their gaping mouths as they doubled over in pain. She had a running tally of how many she managed to make puke. And she got away with it too. She had forgotten about all this years later, when she was busy baking her award-winning grasshopper pie for a recipe collection editor who was coming to visit her to consider her for inclusion in the book. Candy paused before mixing in the Secret Ingredient, which she knew couldn’t go into the recipe if published. Folks marveled at the real mint that was shredded into the gelatinous creamy pie filling and the way it made them feel after eating it—so incredibly fresh and tingly all over. But they didn’t know about the bits of pot marinating the mint to the peak of perfection.

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